Silent Moment or: How to Draw a Personal Border

Since a couple of years I do enjoy every morning the morning prayers from Joyce Meyer. She takes one verse from the Bibel and translates the meaning into these days. Main point is not to "translate" the Bible and to educate her readers into religious ones. Absolutely not. Her main point is to show how you can live a life without anger, fear, depression, despair and how to put yourself into a person which likes yourself. Of course in this context it is to have a good and honest relationship with God and at the end of the day with yourself. And not to be humble or pious. She makes me every morning thinking about myself. A couple of minutes in silence and afterwards for those who like to speaking a prayer. Mostly I then start a little chat with God - for example today. Joyce wrote about living in peace, calmly and asked what the reason for being restless and unsure is? How often in our lives do we mean to be responsible for... family, neighbors, friends, colleges or whom ever. And how often do we start to loose our self in being on-call-duty. Also this for whom ever. Maybe this is one of a very typical female behavior and I do often recognize it by myself. And further on: You start to think of yourself and immediately there´s a bad conscience. You´re not okay being selfish, it is not fine to behave like that. Question: Who says that? Where do these kind of bad feelings come from? And here again at the end of the day: Who´s life is it? Do we live our own lives or do we live and behave for others who might have power over us?

So, after my morning coffee and my prayer I took my camera and went to a silent and secret place nearby the lake. Today was a wonderful winter sunny Sunday and the best to do is going outside and stretching your face towards the sun. After a short walk I arrived the shore and took the little pillow I´ve taken with me, set on it and just closed my eyes. Minute after minute in feeling the warm sun on my pale winterface and listening to the silence. 

After a while I started to talk with God again and asked him to show me how to draw my personal border. This was one of the main points in the prayer this morning. If you always feel responsible for others you cant take care for yourself, you cant live a life in peace and calmness and for those who do believe in God: Is this a life God wanted for you?  So, my chat with God went on and I told him about my thoughts and asked him to get me free of these bad feelings. I asked him to send me a sort of signal, thanked him and closed my eyes in the warm winter sun again.

I remembered myself that I also wanted to take pictures of this winter view and installed my camera onto the tripod. And you won´t believe it. As soon as I finished it just took a little moment and two wonderful swans came gently gliding from the river bend. First they observed me for a moment, motionless, and then decided to stay in front of me. Only in front of me. There was no one else. Only these two and me and they took their time to clean them selves thorough. And while I was taking one pic after the other I mentioned one special move of the swans. They stretch one wing towards the sky and just clean beyond the wing. But this special one picture (you can see above) was the moment I thought: That´s the sign! That´s it. Just take care of yourself, stop mentioning the surroundings for a moment, stay with your self and you´ll be one with your self. The swan in the pic doesn´t even care about anything around in this little moment. It is at one with itself. And the more you take care of your self the more beauty of your self can shine. That´s the lesson I´ve got today. So, let us shine again :-)


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Annette Markert Photograph


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